when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
