Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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