We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
