That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize