smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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