I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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