You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize