Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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