i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
