Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize