Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
