My nipple is on Facebook.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
