as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
where are my eyebrows?
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