try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
