the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
