He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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