good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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