k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Damn victory sex feels great
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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