when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
