I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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