just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
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