I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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