He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
