farters have to be the big spoon...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
