awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
