At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
