if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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