I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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