He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
