gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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