I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize