I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
