i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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