I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize