just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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