Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
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