Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
