My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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