Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
