It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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