I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
