proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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