Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
