grandma shit on top of the toilet
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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