I hope mine doesn't look like that
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize