have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
