i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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