i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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