You work out of a Hotel?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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