Sponge bath it is.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Randomize
