Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
