Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
