I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
