I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
