i would punch a child for taco bell
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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