And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
