yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
