If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
