I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
