We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
