I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
